Childhood

Random vivid memory, circa 1994

I don’t remember much from grade school, but here’s a true story that will always stick with me.

There was this kid I HATED in elementary school. He was gross – one of those boys who was always trying to woo girls with his rendition of “On Bended Knee” and saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. He was also a terrible student, which drove me insane. I mean, I know, not all kids learn at the same rate, but not knowing how to spell or do simple arithmetic is unacceptable in my book.

Anyway, I suspect that his inability to compute 7 + 6 largely had to do with the fact that he almost never did his own homework. We turned in our homework by passing it down the row, where it would be collected at the end by the teacher. As the pages went down the line, he would grab somebody’s sheet and copy it down as his assignment. I sat farther down the row and noticed what he was doing, so I would remove his paper and shove it into my desk before passing the pile on. I know, I should have just told on him, but this felt SO much more satisfying.

Things that shouldn’t surprise you: I always had a horribly messy desk/locker and I don’t like it when people are dishonest.

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